Thoughts on Love

{This is my attempt at The Love More Shop's Love Letters series on their blog but when I started writing, it was more difficult than I thought.  But, I did my best to express love, in the only way I knew how.  A Moms on Mondays featuring this shop is coming soon, and a portion of the proceeds from every item you buy goes into their Love Fund to send a lucky couple out on a date.  Amazing.  I've had the pleasure of meeting Amanda in real life and she is definitely doing something wonderful.}

Love.

When I type this word (or even think about it) I just sit for awhile, it seems too big to describe like no adjectives or adverbs will ever do it justice.  My husband and I used to have a word we said to each other instead of love, we made it up because we just didn't feel like love represented how we felt about each other.  Now that's love.

The meaning of the word loves changes with age and the passing of decades.  I feel as though the love I had for things (or even people) when I was younger is not the love I have now, but at the time it was all the love I had so it was big enough for me.  Love was a long, passionate kiss, a night out until dawn with someone who made you laugh and a new handbag (for reals!).  Now love is so much more.

To me, love is measured by its opposite, you can't have one without the other.  A broken heart now-a-days is a "bye mommy" when I'm leaving for work in the morning, a tumble or a skinned knee or pitiful snuggles on a sick day.  My heart aches in these moments, torn apart because of how much I love you, my baby.

In opposition, you make my heart sing.  I love it when you ask me to dance (or hold hands, or for a kiss), when you come over and kiss me or tell me you love me, all on your own, or when you dance around a room like you don't have a care in the world.  I see my face in your face and feel as though I've known you all my life.  My heart lives on the outside, in you.

I will say the old cliche but it's so true, you never know what love is until you have children.  And, the love you have for your husband grows immensely when you watch him become a father.  The belly laughs that come from my baby, when she plays with her daddy, are unlike any other.  The love I have when I look at my husband, as he works so hard for our family, is something so much more - it's appreciation mixed with love and all sorts of other things.  This kind of love is indescribable, another that I need a word for because there just isn't one good enough.  I read a book once, about people who had near-death experiences and they said that when you die, your mind opens up, and all of the things you felt in your life you finally have the words for, you are on another plane, one that can describe the love you feel.  That is something to think about.

I live my life in a way that I have this untouchable, unthinkable love for my family but I also have this higher level of love for all human beings.  Some days I may not like my students, but I will always love them, as people and as part of this planet (this universe).  I try to live this way, always giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and loving them still, even though I may not like them, because we are all part of the same world.  This is something to think about.  Imagine if we all had this sort of love for one another, this common understanding, this other-wordly love.  Do you think we might live in a better place?  A place of love and understanding?

I have said the words "I love" thousands of times (maybe millions) but how do I really feel?  The word has, in a sense, lost all of its meaning because of how we use it.  When you sit down and think about it, really think about it (and see it there, typed), what does it even mean?  Love is all around us, it's in the way we treat others, our families, our friends and in our spiritually (whatever that is).  Love can mean whatever it needs to in order for you to live in it.  In yoga they teach us that the energy from your heart radiates 15 feet out and around you, in any direction, at all times.  This energy, to me, is love.  I am love, you are love.

I wish I loved like Lemon does.  She finds a tiny thing, a tiny figurine, and holds it to her and says, "I love you."  She emulates me saying it to her, she knows that when you hug something and say that phrase, you must like it a whole bunch.  We all did this when we were little.  Even though it's silly, we had so much love for so many things, even the little things in our lives.  We could learn from this.

 

I want to love freely and send my energy out daily, to all things in my life.  I want to live in the moment, in the present, and even though there aren't words for the big loves, I can rejoice in the small ones.  Do you remember how to do this?  I would like you to try because I love you.

Go forth and walk in love my friends.